this is your self-responsibility

Do you feel caught up in a never-ending whirlwind, which sometimes energises you and other times tires you out?

Do you feel frustrated in your job, in your relationship with your boss, in your private life?

Do you feel like you’re not living the life you should be living?

If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, it’s time to take charge. Because only you know what’s good for you and who can do you good. Become an actor again. Take the cards back into your own hands. It’s up to you.

Tip 1: Be the change, impact your life

It’s not events that make us unhappy but the way we experience them. A simple state of mind, and everything changes: you can continue to grumble, get angry at the wheel of your car, roll your eyes, complain about anything and everything, sigh, refuse and resist over and over again…

But how does that make you feel? Full of energy and raring to go? Not at all. You’re flat. Helpless. Frustrated. It’s no good to anyone.

What if you looked at things differently? The point isn’t for things to be so peachy that all the inconveniences of everyday life become strokes of luck. But at least take a breath, step back, accept events more philosophically, stop beating yourself up and don’t dwell on things. That would be a good start.

Tip 2: Dare to challenge yourself

It’s not easy to question yourself. Either due to certain beliefs, mental limits or because the task is too big and a bit scary. One thing is certain: it takes courage. And this is often beneficial.

Those close to you can help you get out of your (not so) comfort zone. You’ll notice the wink that accompanies the annoying “I told you so”. Your level of insight is often skewed. Know how to listen to what others say about you, ask questions and listen to the answers in the same way, as this exchange is an opportunity to shed new light on yourself.

You can also look for professional guidance or tried and tested tools. Make your own assessment, alone or with guidance. A tip? Use the Johari Window to look under the surface of your own iceberg for what is hidden and who you really are.

Tip 3: Take the power

Have you made a mistake? No problem! Retake control of the wheel, you’re the pilot after all.

We are the actors of our own life: we always have a choice. The choice not to suffer. It’s easier to make choices than not to make them, even if they’re wrong. At least we’ll have tried. Find the source of your power in the small as well as the big things. No more procrastination! Opt for action. Choose movement over inertia. Choose solutions not problems. Hidden, you suffer. Exposed, you strengthen yourself. Energy levels rise: you are truly in charge. You exercise your own responsibility.

Want to dig further? You might find these books useful

• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

Read also:

• Self-responsibility: a daily challenge with explosive benefits